Kay Erni

“Hindi ko na mayakap pa ang aking sarili.
Sa bawat gabing magdaan ay nararamdaman kong
kawalan…”

-Ms.Dewi, 20
Pontianak, Indonesia

Pikit-mata na hinimod, ang pawis
ng pagnanasa at libog.
hinuhubdan ang kaloob-looban
ng iyong pagkatao.
winawasak nang unti-unti
ang natitirang dangal
na masasabing tanging sa iyo.
pinapalitan ng ibat-ibang
kulay ng papel, mukha ng tao.
dinadalaw sa panaginip
ng mga naglalaway na dila,
mga matutulis na kuko.
sa gabing ito…may halimaw na muling
papasukin ang kabuuan
maglalagos sa alon ng mga kumot
usok ng sigarilyo.

pero hindi!

babasagin ang kairalang bumabalot,
umaalipin sa iyong pinagmulan.
wawakwakin ang lalamunan ng magdamag
hanggang sa maabot ang

Merdeka!

na minimithi mo.

Emanzky88
Pontianak, Indonesia
M/V Akra Sounion
16 Mayo 1998

(c) 2009 Kwentulang Marino


*Unang nalathala sa ANI 28 (2002) -Sarisaring Kasarian: Pagmamahal, Cariño Brutal, atbp. (The Gender Issue), literary journal ng Cultural Center of the Phils. (CCP). Imahe mula sa pabalat ng ANI 28

Advertisements

For You

I hate you!
(First words I want to say to you!)
Why you make me like this
After you sleep with me
And see about my skin
And you said
“I like white skin”
I hate you, I know
My skin is Hitam
But I don’t like
You say like that
In front of me and
my friend.
If you know my skin
is Hitam why you
said to me you like
me and you give me
a little time
to sleep together.
“HOW CAN I TRUST YOU”
Please don’t talk to me
again and don’t try to
see me
This is where our
together ends.
Thanks for everything
and all your advise

From Me

I try to trust you
and may be I will
trust you. But now
I don’t trust you
anymore. Never

(c) 2009 Kwentulang Marino

For: Chief Engineer

I hate you.

Because even you take me

but you never

like me

and you

always

take other girl.

From Me
Erwinda

(c) 2009 Kwentulang Marino

For Captain

Why you angry with me?
Tell me because everything I do is for
both of you ( you and chief)
and why you speak to Anarki and you
angry with me?
I think you are brother
and no problem
But now. why you angry with me?
What do you want it’s up to you.
If you want me to go out
from your cabin.
I will sleep in MessRoom!

Please Answer Me!!

From
Erwinda

(c) 2009 Kwentulang Marino

For: Chief Engineer & Captain

I can’t understand everything you want. I always do everything I can for both of you. And never for others. Maybe because you are Eropa people. The way how you think and culture is different from Asia people. But I always follow everything you want because I like and love both of you.

I don’t understand maybe I’m crazy and maybe I did something wrong. You know what happen to my heart. I tell you the truth because before I never stay for the long time in the vessel. It’s for the first time for me.

Today I know & understand you don’t have the feeling about like and love for me even a little. Because you think love is only sell and buy. For what reason I come to Banjarmasin even you never call me! Because I miss you and…forget you. Everything is very wonderful time in… And I come to Banjarmasin. The first day you play… I feel very sad. Today you give the answer about… Letter because you did something wrong and make me crazy.

You and I try to forget everything. Thank you for everything a very wonderful and sweetest which you ever give me even only a few time. Please tell me what is my mistakes.

I hope you please I can stay here or empty cabin even. Because both of you have a new girl friend. Thank you for your understanding.

Please you are in my memory life forever. Even now I hate you.

Please let me be here this last port until your vessel go to other country.

From Me

I’m in memories only

(c) 2009 Kwentulang Marino

Note: Nagbago na moda ng komunikasyon sa atin bansa at maging sa pagbabarko.Ang dati-rati nating sulat o liham ng mga OFW at marino, natapos na kontrata’y di pa natatanggap ay pinalitan ng celfon at internet.

Para sa akin ang sulat ay isang “social documentary” na unti-unting naglalaho.

Si Erwinda ay isa sa mga babaing Indonesyana na nagtatampisaw sa laot ng Samarinda, Banjarmasin at Pontianak na nagbibigay aliw sa mga marinong may ibat-ibang nasyonalidad, mas popular sila sa katawagang mga babaing “akyat-barko” Gaya nang iba pang ilalabas sa kategoryang- Mga Sulat Mula Sa Laot, minabuti nating itago ang tunay nilang pangalan bilang pag-respeto sa kanilang pagkatao’t may kaselanan ang paksain.

Hindi ko ninais i-post ito para lamang sila’y libakin, husgahan, pagtawanan o gawing isang “piyesang panliteraratura” ang mga nasabing sulat. Layunin ‘kong maipakita kung anong kanilang kalagayan, paano sila mag-isip at lumangoy sa agos ng buhay.

Pitong (7) pirasong sulat ang ingat-ingat ‘kong halos ay may isang dekada na rin ang nakaraan mula ng makilala ko ang mga Indonesyanang umakyat sa’min barko. Kahit na nga sa barko umikot ang istorya, walang petsa ang mga sulat na sa karaniwan ay nilalagay ito, hindi natin batid ang tunay na kadahilanan. Kung pagbabasihan ay ang aking “travel journal” sa pagitan ito ng Abril-Mayo 1998 na kung saan ay nagpalipat-lipat ang barko sa mga nasabing lugar.

Mapapansin ang kanilang pagsisikap na makipag-komunika sa wikang Ingles kahit na nga may maling ispeling o pagkakasalansan ng mga salita pero mapapansin din ang ilan paggamit nila ng mga salitang gaya ng “culture, far across, Asia, you make me crazy honey, wonderful, spaces between us,”- ay may kiliti at lalim sa babasa. Wala akong ginalaw sa orihinal na sulat, maliban na lang sa tunay na tel. no. nya na nirambol ko na lang para itago ang totoong numero. Ang mga dotted line ay nangangahulugang nasira o na dameyds na ang porsyon ng sulat dahil sa katagalan nito. Isa pa lamang ito sa pitong sulat nailalabas ng Kwentulang Marino.

Sagwanin natin ang Erwinda’s Journey!

For Captain:

Honey, I don’t know what happen to me. I can’t forget you and everytime I always remember you. I don’t know why I love you very much. And I’m crazy about that. Every night in my dreams I see you. And I feel you… that is how I know you go on. Far across the… spaces between us. You have come to show you go on.

Why you come inside my heart if you can’t stay in my heart? Why you come and you must go. Why? tell me if we can’t be together why you give me love like that. Why? You make me crazy honey! You give only a few time and a very wonderful time which I never feel like this before. Thank’s honey for your best time you give me. But why only a little?

Wherever you are. Near far I always miss you please. Do something for I forget you. Because I think. It’s very imposible to see you again. Please let me be together with you until you leave Indonesia in the last port. If you’ll come back to Indonesia, please remember that I will always waiting for you and don’t forget your promise that you will buy for me something in Amerika. I’m always waiting.

Ok! that’s all. I will stop my write until here.

With Me:

Erwinda

(c) 2009 Kwentulang Marino